Dear Scottish Conservatives…

Dear Scottish Conservatives,

Your deputy leader and frontrunner in the leadership election has declared that a vote for him is a vote to disband the party. As a kind spectator, I wish to offer you some advise as you contemplate this decision and how you may go about achieving your mission of electoral success in Scotland.

William Shakespeare once wrote:

“A Rose by any other name.

Would still smell as sweet”

In that spirit:

A Tory by any other name,

would still smell like Cameron’s lap dog

If you want to disband the party then disband the party don’t have any of this rebranding nonsense.

If you want to create a new party then create a new party but don’t keep the links with the English party. If you don’t when it comes to UK elections, a vote for [insert new party name] will be seen as a vote for a Conservative government and in case you hadn’t noticed, Scotland doesn’t want a UK Conservative government.

If you want greater electoral success then you could follow this action plan:

• Work out your vision of Scotland
• Create policies to implement this vision
• Make sure businesses, charities, schools, police, nurses, doctors etc. can get on board with these policies
• Communicate this effectively and in a positive manner to Scotland.

Now this works for Scottish elections, its Westminster elections that you find especially tricky in Scotland considering you have only one MP. This is slightly trickier. I’m sorry to say the only way to get better results in UK elections in Scotland is to talk to the English Tories. I know up here in the English Tory safe haven that nobody likes them but for the good of your party, you have to speak to them. Even *shudder* charm them into liking you. I know its horrible to contemplate but you have to for the sake of the party.

If they prove to be unwilling to change, if they don’t accept to incorporate your policies to create your vision of Scotland, then and only then do you go independent.

I hope this has helped you in your path to electoral success in Scotland.

Best wishes

Nic Prigg